Bag Lady / Bag Man

Taking the night bus down Yonge st. in Toronto in the middle of the night is an ill advised activity at the best of times. But sometimes after a night of imbibery north of Sheppard one is too drunk to be concerned with the annoyances one may confront taking the "Vomit Comet". I was in such a state one night last week and was treated to some rather interesting scenes.

First there is a young man (maybe 20) with a big piece of Sony Stereo hardware still in box taking up two seats. He spots two nerdy teenagers and gives them the the finger rubbing sign for money and then look sat the stereo. Unbelievable, this dude is trying to sell a stereo (likely stolen) on a bus full of people. Classic. The kids shake their heads and the guy just smiles and nods. Later he engages and late 20 something man with the same proposition. The 20 something shakes his head but the two continue to talk for the rest of the ride - fast friends as it were.

As I am continuing to ride, with my head buried in a book at this point (Marx, Das Kapital V III - reading it drunk is a complete waste because I have to reread the part when sober, but it never stops me from trying). I notice a rather pungent aroma invading my airspace; I look around to see an old gentleman (hobo) carrying about 8 plastic bags filled with his affects. It's always interesting for me to watch the (presumably) homeless when they are forced to interact with society. He was quiet and reserved, but his eyes were constantly darting about, as if making sure no one was going to make a move on his precious cargo. Others had noticed the smell at this point, some kids chuckled to each other, people made eyecontact with one another and shared eyerolls. I pretended to read whilst observing the old-timer.

A little further down the line a bag lady got on, rare to see a bag man and a bag lady on the same bus (but not so strange on the 320 Blue Night Bus). The two spotted each other right away, but didn't approach each other. There was no attempt made to engage each other in conversation, to discuss the daily events or to commiserate on the upcoming winter. I found that rather odd, here are two people who clearly share some things in common. Two people who certainly could understand each other much better than anyone else on the bus could, and yet they seemed to avoid each other. Almost as if a mutual disgust was all they really shared, or a shame in how low they had sunk.

As I continued to watch, and the two bag people continued to avoid eye contact with each other the bus slowly rocked it's way down the street. The bus made it to Dundas Square the bag lady rang the bell, the bus stopped and she approached the door but she was having trouble getting off the bus, the bag man noticed and stood up, leaving his own bags unattended in order to attempt to help his fellow homeless get off the bus. This was a far cry from the distain they seemed to feel a few moments ago. When he was right beside her he offered his help, she yelled at him "Not to fucking touch her" and went off into the night. The bag man hung his head and sat back down with his bags, sheepishly trying to avoid the prying eyes of the passengers of the 320.

New Job

I started a new job last week.  It's very similar to my last job, which was fine, so I guess I'm in pretty good shape.  Now the new job is good, the people are great, there are tons of perks and the money is good.

But, there is nothing worse than being new at a job and feeling completely useless.  I mean, as a guy who is usually pretty self reliant I just hate to always have to ask for help.  I can do the job, it's not rocket science, but all the tiny procedural aspects make it hard to get up to speed.  It's like how you feel when you first go to university and attend your first class.  You know that you are as smart as anyone else there but you feel like you are one step behind for the first little while.

Hopefully in a few weeks I will be up to speed.  And I can get back to my old self.  Hopefully.

House

I like House.  When I say House, I mean the show.  I don't LOVE television in general but I really like House.  It may have to do with the fact that I love being right, and House is so often right, and not afraid to rub others noses in it.  I like that he has so much confidence that he has no problem sticking it to everyone else and making them feel inadequate...I know I'm saying something about myself here, but bear with me.

Up until recently the show was about diagnosis, a case would come in and House and his team would solve it.  I should mention here that I also love detective stories...blame Batman and Sherlock Holmes, but I love a good mystery.  So these medical mysteries really appealed to me.  But lately there has been a subplot.  One of House's underlings has Huntington's.

Huntington's is an ugly disease, like Parkinson's, Huntington's causes one to lose control of their motor functions.  It strikes young people, 40 year olds die of it, and look like idiots while they do it.....cold(?) yes, but also true.  This character adds a dimension to the show that has been lacking over the 2 years I have been watching it.  Is it possible that I am more interested in the human condition than a mystery?  Wow, you learn something new every day.

Drunken Ramblings (maybe not so articulate)

So I get to drinking and I get to thinking.....a dangerous combination I am all too aware.  It strikes me that when people drink too much they do a lot of things, things they wouldn't necessarily do.  I tend to walk a lot when I am drunk, not that that is a bad thing, walking is great.  Whenever I travel I pack a comfy pair of shoes because I love to walk to get the feeling of a city.  Tonight I walked with my friend because we wanted some cheeseburgers.

Now, before you start to snicker, cheeseburgers are delicious, and if you disagree FUCK YOU....they are.  So we start waling and end up going for like 45 minutes looking for a McDs or BK.....45 minutes?!?  What kind of city do I live when you can't get a cheeseburger when you are drunk, terrible.  We passed lots of burrito spots and pizza spots but not one burger spot.  Unreal.

I also advocated my friend kicking my other friend in the crotch.  I'm not pro kicking but I get giddy when drunk.  And I was drunk.

I love watching cartoons when drunk.  I love cartoons at the best of times, I mean the nostalgia of cartoons in general are always great....but when drunk they seem to really take me back.  So during my drunk I watched Batman and enjoyed explaining the nuances of Batman, the character and the man, to my friends.  Immature?  Maybe....but I get a lot out of it when drunk.

Is it possible that all these things mean a lot to me regardless of my state of consciousness?  Is is that I love these things in general and that the drunkeness just allows me to say I love it?  I;d like anyone reading this to think about what they love, and then think of what they do when drunk, does the truth really come out when drunk?  Something we could all stand to take a few minutes to think about, and then have an in depth discussion of the Batman's motives.

Photo credit to the asian sensation Mr JT.

On Birthdays

I am from Canada. That means a lot of things to different people, at different times. When I was in my early 20's that meant that on my birthday my friends had the right, nah the obligation, to try to kill me with drink. They had many chances, birthdays 22 - 27 are a blur of Molson Stock, Steam Whistle and JD, all of which combined to make November 22 one of the worst days of the year for yours truly.

There was a year when, in Japan, I drank so much sake that I stepped out of the train at my stop and literally fell right over backwards. I must have looked like I had dropped dead, I remember coming to and haveing 8 japanese people looking at me and muttering "Baka gaijin" which I assumed meant "Oh this poor fellow, are you alright?" I assured them that I was indeed alright (although this is, at best, a relative term on your birthday) and stumbled home to sleep with my head resting on the toilet seat, dignified as always.

There was the year I went with all my work friends to the Dance Cave, and dance we did. I believe half the people who showed up didn't even like me but were there to party as if they did. I drank a lot of whiskey that night and had to be dragged to bed by my ever understanding better half.

There was a year that my brother and I broke up a fight on my birthday. He wanted to rough the guy up a little but my cooler head prevailed and we let him go on his way. Well, no good deed goes inpunished and the guy we let go threw bottles at us, one hitting me on my cheek and one hitting my buddy in the head. This was to be the last of the birthday blowouts. No longer would I get so drunk that I made bad decisions that end up in hilarious injuries and screaming hangovers.

This year was a modest affair of my closest friends, a bar in parkdale and me being the least drunk person there. My friends were dancing (the bar we went to is many things but a dance hall is not one of them). They flirted with the server. They oreder too many rounds. They tipped egregiously. Then we went home and ordered pizza. On November 22 my friends reported mass hangovers and vomitting and I felt like a million bucks....age has its benefits.

Autobailout Rejected - Classism Anybody?

I just finished reading this article and I was struck by the tone of it.

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi and Senate majority leader Harry Reid said any legislative proposal put to a vote this week would fail, and they levelled scathing criticism at the executives, including pointed barbs for flying to Washington this week on private jets.

I am all for giving executives a hard time about their spending. There is no reason someone should be making $300M per year without saving lives (I truly believe doctors and research scientists should make much more than they do), I find it difficult to believe that the auto execs make the money they do in companies that don't make any money. Could you imagine a guy running a corner store that doens't turn a profit and yet he drives into work in an Audi, right away you would think 'Mafia', but when it is a businessman everyone assumes it is at least quasi-legit.

Well that's all well and good BUT why are the auto makers bearing the brunt of the governments ire? I mean, didn't the world just agree to give a bunch of banks a bunch of money....BANKS NEED MORE MONEY??????? WTF? The banks are the only businesses in the world that are allowed to lend money they don't have to make a profit. They need to have 10% of a loan in capital in order to give a loan, the rest is imaginary money on which they can make profit, and now because of this practise (that is illegal in any other industry) has failed to turn a profit tax payers should have to bail them out??

.

I have a problem with this, and I have the same problem with the automakers getting money. HOWEVER, for the powers that be to treat the auto industry worse than the banks smells fishy to me. Could it be because the people who work for GM and Ford didn't go to Harvard or Yale? Could it be because none of the bluecollar workers are in the same country clubs as Nancy Pelosi? I find it quite interesting that the government has decided to play hardball with the auto industry, when it is truly main street that will suffer from their failure, while they socialize bank debt and give hedge fund managers golden handshakes.

Surprising Facts About Obama

Doing some reading on about some people I find interesting today, Noam Chomsky and Ron Paul (I know they have divergent ideas but that doesn't make them less interesting). While reading about Ron Paul I came across some facts on the president elect Barrack Obama voted FOR the Patriot Act....for the patriot act, I mean this was one of the most tyrannical pieces of legislation ever pushed through by the US government, and the president elect used his senatorial vote to help it pass. Wow, you think a guy with the middle name Hussein would be more apt to try to prevent legislation that would allow the government to arrest you without charges or access to an lawyer because you are suspected of being a terrorist, you would think...

Obama has also admitted that he will not end the occupation of Iraq. Despite being supported by many anti-war groups Obama has said he will continue to support the war in Iraq in a reduced capacity but to step up activity in Afghanistan. This is change?!

The most amazing fact is the fact that all the lefties that support him are not bringing up these problems.

Looking For a Job

Looking for a job is a bit like looking to get some action in a bar. It seems you spend a lot of your time on prospects. You walk into the bar scan the room and you spot her, the girl you could spend the rest of your life with, beautiful, huge smile, drinking a beer....a beer that's so me you think, and then her very handsome boyfriend walks up and plants one on her. That is the equivalent to going to apply for the perfect job and getting the "Sorry this position has been filled". As you continue your evening you are having some drinks and continuing to scope out the situation.


You see another girl, not beautiful but definitely someone who has attracted your interest, you try to talk to her, she is polite but not overly friendly, you buy her a drink and she continues to talk to you but she's not into you, you can tell, so you politely make an excuse and leave. You are both glad it's over. This is the phone interview that doesn't go well.


The night is wearing on and you are getting drunker but no closer to hooking up, you have talked to a few other girls with varying levels of success but not finding the right one, and now you are getting desperate and this isn't going to be pretty....you're going to go for a sure thing. Now this is a low point in anyone's night (jobhunt). The beer starts to taste stale, the music seems to drone your ears, everything gets blurry like an over exposed photo. You starting talking to girls who at the begining of the night you would have tried to avoid eyecontact with. One of these girls will say yes, they will, it's simply supply and demand. There are not many dudes who will go for them and no matter who drunk, ugly and desperate you look she needs it.


NOW, hopefully on the way out of the bar she needs to go to the washroom and while you are waiting for her you meet another girl, who doesn't necessarily want to go home with you but hands you her phone number and says to call her. This allows you to ditch the bathroom skank and get a good and safe night's sleep.......or you could end up working a starbucks.

Rules That Aren't

At the YYZ waiting to go on a trip with my fiancee to Germany (which was great, thanks for asking) we were about to check our luggage and the gentleman at the mouth of the line asked us to weigh it. Sure, why not, afterall we were only checking one bag between the two of us. Well, our bag weighed 25.6 kg, that was too heavy, we weren't allowed to check this bag....it was overweight. I guess this makes sense, some poor sap has to lift this and could hurt himself in the process....and if everyone had a heavy bag this man could develop back problems, it would be an unsafe work environment. I can get behind that, a man shouldn't have to hurt himself just to earn a buck. As I was quietly accepting the fact that I wasn't going to be able to check my bag the gentleman informed me that I could pay $100 and have it sent on......that begs the question: do they give the guy who has to lift the bag the $100??

Election 2008, they're going to kill him?!?

After reading the stories about the mouth-breathers in the US who had a plot to kill 102 black people culminating with the assasination of Barack Obama I started thinking.

First I started thinking "Holy crap. This is crazy, assasinating a presidential candidate is a huge undertaking, these guys must be involved with a massive network of white supremacists, this could be horrible." Nope, I was dead wrong, turns out it was just two rednecks who didn't like black people. Well alright, no real surprise there, this is the US of A we are talking about here.

THEN I started thinking "Why has nobody talked about the possibility of Barack Obama getting assasinated, this is the US of A we are talking about."

So why has this not been something discussed in depth? The president that Obama is being compared to most often is JFK, and we all know how that story ended. So, after Obama wins (if he does) all that's left will be for him to threaten to "clean up the CIA", send his people to talk to Raul Castro and have a parade through any southern capital and presto the US will have to create a new currency denomination to memorialize a great man.

Before dismissing this scenario keep in mind that recently Barack has been compared to the antichrist (by SNL alum whose name I can't recall), there is the obvious fact that he is black and the fact that he may be the most liberal candidate to run a serious campaign in recent memory. Remember that America is hurting from an economic collapse and is embroiled in a war against Islam (don't kid yourself, it's against Islam, a modern day crusade) that they can't win. All of this looks to me like a recipe for a dead president.

Just my $.02