On Birthdays

I am from Canada. That means a lot of things to different people, at different times. When I was in my early 20's that meant that on my birthday my friends had the right, nah the obligation, to try to kill me with drink. They had many chances, birthdays 22 - 27 are a blur of Molson Stock, Steam Whistle and JD, all of which combined to make November 22 one of the worst days of the year for yours truly.

There was a year when, in Japan, I drank so much sake that I stepped out of the train at my stop and literally fell right over backwards. I must have looked like I had dropped dead, I remember coming to and haveing 8 japanese people looking at me and muttering "Baka gaijin" which I assumed meant "Oh this poor fellow, are you alright?" I assured them that I was indeed alright (although this is, at best, a relative term on your birthday) and stumbled home to sleep with my head resting on the toilet seat, dignified as always.

There was the year I went with all my work friends to the Dance Cave, and dance we did. I believe half the people who showed up didn't even like me but were there to party as if they did. I drank a lot of whiskey that night and had to be dragged to bed by my ever understanding better half.

There was a year that my brother and I broke up a fight on my birthday. He wanted to rough the guy up a little but my cooler head prevailed and we let him go on his way. Well, no good deed goes inpunished and the guy we let go threw bottles at us, one hitting me on my cheek and one hitting my buddy in the head. This was to be the last of the birthday blowouts. No longer would I get so drunk that I made bad decisions that end up in hilarious injuries and screaming hangovers.

This year was a modest affair of my closest friends, a bar in parkdale and me being the least drunk person there. My friends were dancing (the bar we went to is many things but a dance hall is not one of them). They flirted with the server. They oreder too many rounds. They tipped egregiously. Then we went home and ordered pizza. On November 22 my friends reported mass hangovers and vomitting and I felt like a million bucks....age has its benefits.